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Jan 10, 2008

Posted by: ms.vainglorious

Ms. Vainglorious’ MySpace School for Proper Young Ladies: Part II

So, it all starts out with a simple fear of going to the bathroom on your own—and hey, that’s understandable. Women have insisted on bathroom buddies for decades. But when you can’t post a photo of yourself on your MySpace profile—without the company of your sexy gal pal—I loose the ounce of compassion and patience I once cherished. These “double trouble” photos are pushing me to the very brink of sanity.

You know the ones I’m talking about—the photo of the two girls with low cut dresses; heads are touching, cheeks sucked in, lips pursed. With wine in hand, they burn holes into the camera with their sultry eyes, as if to say, “If you think I’m sexy, and you want my body, come on sugar, let me—er, I mean, the both of us—know.”

I mean really, do you bring your friends with you to the DMV when your get your license photo taken? Are you trying to seduce me with your homo-erotic-sorority-sister-act? Well, I’m not impressed. It’s your profile, so get your own photo. And while you’re at it, dig up that pesky little thing called “dignity.”